Waiting Here
by ElfishWelfare
Summary: After Remus Lupin graduated from Hogwarts, he felt as if his whole life was a waiting game. Waiting for love, waiting for happiness, and waiting for acceptance. Before Tonks, someone taught Remus how to love. Starts Remus/OC
1. 1978

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any related characters**

Remus Lupin trudged through the streets of Diagon Alley. Sunday's were never usually busy. The streets were quite empty, and it made walking enjoyable. The few passers-by kept their heads down as they rushed from shop to shop. They were trying to get some last minute shopping done before the week started, and everyone would be back to work. He had been trying his best to be happy, he really had. His mother had always warned him against jealousy. She said it was an ugly thing that ruined lives. Remembering her words, he stuck a polite smile on his face as he nodded to the occasional witch who rushed passed him.

It was tough though. He never thought at the age of 18 his life would be over. He received mostly Outstandings in his NEWT's, but that wasn't enough. Nothing he did would ever be enough. He was a werewolf, and would forever be judged on it, no matter how many O's graced his results page. He knew he shouldn't feel resentful. He had been lucky to even get to go to Hogwarts, his father was well aware of that. Remus remembered that his father had often told him stories about his own days at Hogwarts. Always finishing with a small sigh, and a sad comment about how Remus would never get to experience it. His father had been _sad_ for him. However, Professor Dumbledore had made exceptions for Remus, and he definitely should not complain. He received a better life than most other werewolves.

With that thought he continued down the road, the slanted buildings on either side of him. Only one thing could cheer him up at a time like this: Reading. Reading was his sanctuary, and now that he no longer had access to the school library, perhaps Flourish and Blotts could keep him occupied. Perhaps he could pick up the latest _Potions Master_ magazine, and see if there were any updates on a cure for lycanthropy.

"Er, excuse me sir. Do you happen to have the latest edition of _Potions Master_ in stock yet? I can't seem to see it on the shelves..."

"Hold on, I'll check. Constance!" The shop employee yelled into the back room to someone. "Constance! Are there anymore copies of Potions Master?"

"Oh yes! Sorry I was having a flick through the last one!" a voice called back, and soon Remus was able to put a face to her. A young woman with deep brown hair emerged. She couldn't have been much older than seventeen or eighteen. Her hair reached to her shoulders in soft waves, and she had the bluest eyes Remus had ever seen. They were quite round and open, and reminded Remus of doll eyes. She had tiny pink lips that pulled into a grin when she caught sight of him. She handed the last copy of the magazine. "Here, hope you enjoy it. Fascinating read!"

"Constance, you can't take merchandise back to read it." The man muttered as he pushed passed her into the back room.

"Oh.. Thanks..." Remus muttered, as he fished through his pocket for a galleon.

"Seriously, they've got a first draft potion for lycantrophy. It still needs to be improved, obviously-"

"Really? That's great!"

"I know! No one else seemed as impressed with it as I was, until I met you of course." She said with a smile. "I thought it'd take another ten years at least. Funding was slow for it."

"Yea... I didn't imagine it would ever get done, to be honest."

"You know someone?" She asked. As she put his money in the till, she raised a brow at him.

"Oh... Er... Yea, I do... It's.. It's just nice to have a remedy for it." Remus said nervously. Clearly she wasn't judgemental, but there was no way he could let her know that it was him that was suffering. Though somehow, from the look in her eye, he thought she already knew that.

"I can hold next weeks edition for you, if you like. So you know you have a copy."

"Oh wow, can you do that?"

"Well... No, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him, will it?" She said with a cheeky grin, and jerked her head in the direction of the back room, to indicate she was talking about her boss. She extended her arm out to him. "I'm Constance by the way."

"I'm Remus. And, I'll take you up on that offer. I'll see you next week!" He shook her hand and went on his way.

It became something of a routine. Constance would hold an extra copy of _Potions Master_ in the back room, and, without fail, Remus would visit to collect it every Sunday afternoon. It was a wonderful change from hanging out with the Marauders and Lily. It was something new and fresh. It was something that was his, not his friends'. He enjoyed the Sunday trek to Diagon Alley. It rid him of all his job and money worries, and most importantly it helped keep him sane.

In truth, Remus wouldn't have bothered buying it every week. He enjoyed potions, of course, but really his main interest was this Wolfsbane potion that was in the making, and they didn't document on it's progress weekly. Though, after one look at Constance, and her twinkling blue eyes, he had no problem wasting a galleon just to say hello and ask her how her week had been. Conversations started out quite slow, mostly focusing on the topics in last weeks _Potions Master_. Over time, however, they developed that little bit more. Constance would occasionally ask about his families well being, and Remus in return would ask about her. It turned out that this beautiful girl, who was only one month older than him, had never attended Hogwarts. That was obvious enough, as he would have remembered a face like that. Remus was surprised to learn that she had not attended Beauxbatons or Durmstrang, she hadn't even attended a wizarding day school that littered the country. She told him she was home schooled. With a muggle father, and witch mother, they were each opposed to her attending what they regarded as the best school. In the end, they settled on teaching her themselves, her father taught her about English literature and poetry, and they would spend their evenings reading. She appeared to be quite the Daddy's girl. She recounted to Remus, nights when she would sit on her fathers lap, as he read Mary Shelley's, Frankenstein. Her mother, on the other hand taught her magic. As far as Remus could tell, it was all quite basic magic, simple charms and spells, mostly for household use. Remus was amazed at the simplicity of all this and thought her idea of magic was adorable, though he didn't utter this aloud. The only area where she seemed to excel was in potions. She learned so much, so much more than Remus knew after seven years of education. Her mother was clearly gifted.

"How did you like Hogwarts?" Constance asked one evening after Remus had plucked up the courage to ask her out for an ice-cream. It was quite a hot summer's evening. The temperature had dropped quite a bit since midday, but it was still warm enough to not bother with he noticed her gaze longingly out the window, he had the wonderful idea to wait for her after work and offer to pay for a strawberry sundae. She appeared absolutely delighted by this, and after seeing her reaction, Remus felt disappointed in himself for not asking her sooner. She studied at home her whole life, and had never experienced real friendship. An invitation such as this would have been a dream for her.

"I loved it... I didn't actually think I'd be able to go." As soon as Remus said this, he realised he shouldn't have. He quickly busied himself with his ice-cream, hoping Constance didn't think too much of it. They walked along together at a relatively slow pace, as both tried desperately to keep their ice-creams from melting down their hands.

"Why not?"

"Oh, er... My parents weren't very rich, you see. Robes, books and cauldrons, they all cost a bit."

"But you _did_ go!"

"Yea... Diagon Alley has some pretty good second hand shops." Remus added awkwardly as they strolled together through the cobblestone streets.

"I used most of my Mums things. Her old cauldrons and school books." She said lightly, as if Remus had not said anything embarrassing about his home life at all! "She didn't see much point of buying anything new. She said all the spells would be the same, no matter how new the book looked."

Remus smiled slightly. Constance appeared to be an amazing young girl. She had this incredible innocence about her that could be attributed to being taught at home. She had no perception of house rivalries, of duels, of quidditch matches. Her knowledge on You-Know-Who was quite shockingly limited. All she was certain of was what she read in the paper, and even at that, she never thought too much into it. Remus daily life was riddled with worry. Would he be able to get a job with his condition? Would he survive long enough to raise a family, if he had a family would he even be able to support them? Would Voldemort's reign of terror be disastrous for him?

"Why do you always look like that?"

"Like what?" Remus asked, genuinely confused. His heart gave an uncomfortably hard thump in his chest at her comment. He put a lot of effort into his appearance every Sunday when he travelled to Diagon to see her. Sirius insisted that he wear muggle jeans, and part his hair from the side, setting it with a bit of hair spray. Sirius was hard to argue with, but he managed to convince Remus that all the cool muggles dressed this way, and that Constance would definitely appreciate it.

"You're always frowning... Well, not _always_. But whenever we stop talking, you frown... What're you thinking of?"

"Just... How hard things are getting at the moment. Not just me, everyone..." Remus trailed off uncomfortably. He had come to the end of his ice-cream and now began munching on the wafer.

Constance threw hers in a nearby bin. "I've never liked them." She stated when she saw Remus' curious glance, before adding. "Ah...You mean all this war stuff."

Remus blinked. All this war stuff? "Of course!"

"Does it effect you personally?"

"Yes!" Remus said, a slight bit more indignantly than he intended.

"How did it effect you today?"

"Come again?"

"What did it prevent you from doing today?" She asked with genuine interest, as Remus struggled to find the words.

"Well... Nothing, I suppose."

"If a Death Eater jumps out from around the corner and amputates an arm, so you can no longer hold your ice-cream, _then_ you have my permission to frown. Until then though..." She reached forward with slightly sticky fingers and placed each index finger in either corner of his mouth, attempting to make his lips form a smile. Unable to help himself, Remus grinned. "Good! That's all I want to see you do from now on!"

Soon they knew everything about each other's lives. It seemed as if Constance had known his friends her whole life. She promised Remus that when she first met Sirius, she would definitely tell him everything she understood about motorbikes, though, that wasn't much. She was aware of James long winded infatuation over Lily, with his second love being quidditch. She knew of Peter's adoration of his friends, and while he wasn't the bravest of them, he was always there for the good _and_ the bad. She also soon came to realise that Lily, while not Remus' best friend, she acted as his most trusted confidante.

"Your friends sound wonderful!" She gushed, as if the possibility of friendship was completely foreign to her.

"They are... They really are. I wouldn't know where I'd be without them..." Remus said, a small, sad smile on his face.

"Why do I get the feeling that there's always something you're leaving out?" Constance asked with a slightly raised brow.

Remus gave a small shrug, but his silence didn't deter her.

"What about the werewolf?"

Once again, Remus' hearted thudded uncomfortably in his chest. "Er... What?"

"The day we met, when you were looking for that copy of _Potions Master_ , you said you has a friend... Someone who suffered... Who is it?"

"Er..."

"I know; it's not your place to tell... But you know I wouldn't care, don't you?"

Remus made a noise that sounded like a cross between a cough and a hiccup. It was bizarre to say the least, but Constance took this as a sign that he was too loyal to his friend to give away any information.

"I just think that, if this person needed some support, it would be nice to invite them out with us sometime. You know, so they weren't so lonely."

Remus had to consider this for a moment. She wanted to invite his werewolf friend out with them, meaning she didn't want this ice-cream trip to be a once off or a rare occurrence. "Oh... Right... Well... What makes you say he's lonely?"

Constance smiled a little. "Because we're _all_ alone, and it's just easier to take when we have friends."

Remus smiled in return, as he broke eye contact with her. She seemed so innocent, but she came out with these lines. These lines of incredible wisdom, and they just made Remus get it. She made him get life for the first time ever.


	2. 1978 (2)

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any related characters**

"What's up with you?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He frowned down at his fingers, as he licked ketchup from them. He was eating his usual evening meal of bangers and mash. Since leaving Hogwarts his dinners were definitely less elaborate and he developed a love of frying sausages for every meal. Lily insisted on showing him something a tad bit more nutritious, but he was having none of it.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Why d'you look so mad then... Potato?" Sirius asked generously, pushing his bowl towards Remus, who answered the question with a grimace. He didn't want any of Sirius' potato, whether he had played with it or not. He was getting tired of Sirius' endless supply of mashed potato. "Seriously, you look rough... I didn't think the full moon was for another two weeks-"

"Ssshh!" Remus placed a finger to his lips, looking outraged. "Don't talk so loud!"

"There's no one even _here_ , Moony."

Remus didn't respond. He had never been so jumpy about his condition before. Sure he had always urged his friends to keep it on the down low, but he had never lost his cool in an empty house before, as if there could be someone lurking behind the curtains. He let out a low sigh and tried to relax. He stood up from Sirius' little kitchen table and began to pace the dining room.

Sirius had recently moved into his own flat, which he was very proud of. So proud, in fact, that he insisted that everyone take off their shoes at the front door, you couldn't leave a glass of juice on a table without sitting it on top of a coaster. James bet Peter one galleon that he'd be over it in a week, however, it was nearly a month now, and he was still going strong.

"You're not worried about Constance, are you?"

Remus instantly stopped pacing. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you've been unnaturally happy these last six months. I can't imagine anything _else_ upsetting you."

"Well... I ..." Remus paused, he wanted to trust Sirius with this. But he was hardly the most sensitive person when it came to romance. James would be a better bet, even Peter. Peter took the time to listen, out of all the Marauders, he was possibly the most emotionally intuitive.

"C'mon, tell me what's up." Sirius said impatiently, before eyeing Remus' feet that had just stopped parading up and down his tiled floor. "Those socks are clean, right?"

"Yes, Sirius, for Merlin sake, my socks are clean. I distinctly remember you were planning to get through fourth year with only two pairs of boxer shorts-"

"Ah, the folly of youth."

"Sirius, you're only nineteen."

"I can grow a _beard_."

"Yea, a patchy one." Remus rubbed his head. As usual, Sirius was tedious to deal with.

"Whatever, a beards a beard. Anyway, what did Constance do to get you so twitchy?"

"She didn't _do_ anything... I..." Remus paused and bit his lip. This was going to be the first time he ever spoke these words aloud, and he was dreading it. "I think... I think she knows I'm a werewolf."

"Oh?" Sirius looked questioningly at him. "Why would you say that? Ah, did she notice you like having behind your ears scratched-?"

"-I've known her for six months, right?" Remus spoke loudly over Sirius' comment. "Every full moon I tell her that we have this guys night in-"

"You what?" Sirius choked out. He doubled over laughing at his excuse.

"What else _could_ I say?" Remus asked indignantly. He had very little options for excuses. Constance knew his mother had died recently, and that while he was on speaking terms with his dad, he never went to visit. He always told her that his dad was too busy to see him.

"Sorry... I can just imagine the four of us sitting in, listening to Celestina Warbeck and talking about our love lives... Never mind, go on... Why would you say she knows?"

"Well... That's it." Remus said exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air. Sirius was failing to see the seriousness of this situation.

"So she hasn't said anything to you?"

"No."

"Or asked any questions?"

Remus shook his head once more.

"So... She probably _doesn't_ know..."

"She does, Sirius, I'm _telling_ you." Remus reached up and ran his hands through his hair. Since meeting Constance his life had taken an unexpected turn for the better. It was amazing to have a loving, physical connection to someone. It was something he never thought he would ever experience in his life. But here she was, and not only was she his perfect soul mate, she was also the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. It was perfection.

" _How_?" Sirius pressed impatiently.

"She... She said we should move in together."

"Well, it _has_ been half a year." Sirius said evenly.

"That's _hardly_ long enough to commit to sharing a living space-"

"Well, just think of it this way, for all the bad things, at least you'll be guaranteed a girl in your bed every night-"

"Sirius, that's not the point!" Remus tried to remain calm, but it was really difficult when trying to have an adult conversation with Sirius. He was very caring, and loyal, but emotional, he was not. "The point is, she's already suspicious about me. If we live together how do I hide _it_?"

Sirius looked blankly at him. "Why don't you just tell her?"

There was a pause, where Remus gaped at Sirius. He was unable to find the words. It took him a while to form a coherent sentence. "Padfoot. I can't tell her. She'd hate me!"

"You said she already suspects."

"So?"

"So, if she asked if she could move in with you, and she already suspects, she hardly cares, right?" Sirius shrugged as if it were really that simple. "Plus, I met her. I had to listen to her bang on about minority rights for a good hour before Lily came to save me."

"What is your _point_?"

Sirius sighed. "My point is, she is probably the most tolerant person I have ever met, alongside Lily of course. But Constance has this way of looking at you... You can tell she really loves you...She adores you."

Again, Remus was lost for words. He had never heard something more honest and thoughtful come from Sirius' mouth. Perhaps his best friend was right. Perhaps Constance was more tolerant than what Remus was giving her credit for.

While Remus may have been anxious about speaking to Constance, he knew he couldn't avoid it forever. It had been a couple of weeks since they spoke, which was unusual for them. They owled back and forth constantly, and without fail, every Sunday, they met for ice-cream, or more recently, hot chocolate. He had made excuses for the last two Sundays, stating he was ill, but he couldn't hold it off much longer. He needed to speak to her, and soon.

He made his way through the thick snow which lay on the streets of Diagon Alley. He had forgot to bring suitable walking shoes, and now his socks were drenched, but when he turned the corner to Florean Fortesque's ice-cream parlour, he saw Constance sitting inside, near the entrance. The window was all fogged up, but he could make out her form. She was wearing a lilac winter cloak, with a fur collar. Her hair was a little frizzy, from walking in the snow, but to Remus, she never looked better. When she caught sight of him, she gave him a toothy grin, and waved frantically. Remus smiled back, hoping that this wouldn't be the last Sunday he would be meeting her.

He entered the little shop, and the bell rang above his head. He made his way to the counter and ordered two hot chocolates with marshmallows, as usual. He carried both drinks as steadily as he could, as Constance waved him over to their usual seat at the front of the shop, with a beautiful view of the white, snowy street. The shop was relatively empty, with a small group of middle-aged women drinking their hot chocolate towards the rear of the shop. They were laden with shopping bags, and seemed to be taking a small break.

"Remus, how are you feeling?" She asked serenely, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Great, why?"

"You were feeling sick the last two Sunday's... And you've been too poorly to write everyday." She reminded him lightly, as if forgetting your illness was a usual thing.

"Oh... Er, right... Yea, I'm good now. It's great to see you again... I've missed you."

"I've missed you too!" She said as she drank deeply from her glass cup. " _And_ I've missed this hot chocolate! I think Florean has the best in Diagon... I couldn't bring myself to have it without you."

Remus smiled at her kindness. Even when he was pretending to be sick to avoid her, she thought of saving any hot chocolate drinks until when he was well again. It was tremendously selfless of her.

"Have you given any thought to what I asked?" She looked up at him curiously, and he wondered if she could see the lump in his throat as he swallowed hard. She must have, as she quickly added. "I'm not trying to pressure you... But... But..." She took a deep breath in and out before she spoke again. "I know it's early days... But I... I think I... I love you..." She whispered this last part, so that Remus only barely caught it. "I just want you to know, okay?"

"I...I love you too Connie..." He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze, as he did his best to avoid eye contact with her. Love her, he may, but was this fair to do to her when he knew what kind of a monster he really was. "I actually think it's a great idea."

"Wow, really! I'm so excited." She smiled earnestly, allowing Remus to continue to squeeze her hand gently. "I have a few curtain patterns I want you to look at-"

"But..."

"But what?" Constance's face fell.

"I need to tell you something."

"Oh..." He had released her hand and she took it back to rest beside her glass mug. It was now half empty, and the marshmallows on top had fully dissolved into it.

"I'm actually..." Remus began, but then stopped, he couldn't outright say it, that was mental. And in an ice-cream parlour? Insanity! "You know the way, every month I go hang out with my friends?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not _really_... Well, I am, in a _way_. But... It's not what you think."

"It's every full moon." She stated evenly, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"Y-yes... Yes, it is..." Remus said quietly, and he looked down into his lap. He couldn't face her. This was confirmation that his suspicions were correct. She knew. Of course she knew if she made the connection with the full moon. "I suppose you already know."

"Of course I know!"

"But... Honestly, what gave it away?" Remus replied, trying to keep his voice as level as he possibly could. If this was the end of Constance, he could at least use this experience to fix his mistakes, learn how to hide it better.

"Well... It was probably the first day I met you, when you showed interest in the wolfsbane potion... Honestly, who shows interest in a wolfsbane potion?"

"Well, someone who likes potions for one." Remus tried to reason with her. " _You_ did."

Constance shook her head. "You were _excited_ about it, not just interested. I figured it was a friend of yours... But when you went off every month to be with your friends on the full moon, it was pretty obvious."

They were both whispering now, so as not to draw any attention towards them. At least Constance was kind enough to keep her voice down. Remus knew she probably thought he was a horrible person, but she was decent, so much that she didn't want anyone else in the shop to know.

"I'm really sorry for lying like this." Remus said timidly, keeping his head bent low. He was ashamed. He was ashamed of who he was, and how he had to lie to keep company.

"It was hardly a _lie_... It was just... An avoidance of the truth." Constance shrugged.

"B-before I go... I'd just like to thank you though. These last six months were fun... Here's a tip for the waitress too." He placed a few sickles on the table beside his nearly full glass of hot chocolate, and went to stand up.

He had only just raised himself from his chair before Constance grabbed his arm, looking alarmed. "These last six months were _fun_? Is that a good-bye or something?"

"Yea... I mean... I'm a... I'm a monster. We both know that-"

Remus didn't have the chance to finish his sentence. In all his years of play fighting with his Marauder friends, he had never been pulled so hard. Constance yanked hard on his arms, almost making him loose his footing. He fell back down into the chair, and glanced around making sure no one saw that.

"Remus Lupin you are _far_ from a monster...You leave a measly tip, I'll say that." She eyed the few sickles he left on the table. "But you're not a monster. You're the kindest, most sweetest man I've ever met... Admittedly, I haven't met _many_ people, but I reckon you're a good one... Stay, please?" She placed a hand on his cheek, a stark contrast to her painful tug just moments previous.

Her hand was warm on his cheek, and he wasn't sure if he was flushing or not. He felt many things in this moment, he felt relieved, he felt loved, accepted, but he also felt angry and foolish. He had made out in his own head that Constance could never love him, and here she was, admitting she had known from day one of his lycantrophy, but she loved him regardless. How could he think so little of her? Hadn't he spent enough time around James, Sirius and Peter to know that good people _did_ exist? He just had to take his time to find them.

"Did... Did you really mean what you said?"

"About moving in?" She asked in a loud whisper, staring directly into his eyes.

Remus swallowed. "Um... No... About... About loving me."

"Of course... I never thought I could love anyone until I met you... I'd love you even if you were a werewolf every second of the day."

Remus reached up and put his hand on top of hers as she continued to caress his cheek, and he whispered. "I thought you could never love me if you knew... So I kept it quiet."

"You're much better than what you realise. Those friends of yours, I hope they know just how lucky they are to know you."

"I'm the lucky one-"

"No... Trust me. It's _them_. And me... If you had never come to get that magazine in Diagon six months ago... I'd have never met you, and every evening I'd go home, read a bit, then go to bed and get up to do the same thing all over again." Constance was pursing her lips now, trying to keep her voice even, and desperately trying to keep a tear from slipping, though Remus could see her eyes well up slightly.

He had never known, that while Constance had broken his routine and he was grateful for it, he had never realised that he had broken her cycle of loneliness. She had been starved of friendship for years. She was just as relieved as Remus was, to have found love, and he suddenly understood that.


	3. 1979

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any related characters**

One year had passed, and Constance and Remus were closer than ever. After Remus had admitted the truth about everything, things couldn't have gone any smoother for him. They had moved into their own little flat close to Sirius. It wasn't anything incredible, but it was theirs. It wasn't long into their relationship that the Wolfsbane Potion came out for public use. It seemed as if, with a girl and a potion, Remus' life was complete. He felt normal, just like he had always wanted to. He managed to maintain a healthy balance between his girlfriend, his friends, and his friends were incredibly supportive of his new relationship. They encouraged anything that made Remus happy, as they knew he tended to put others needs before his own. Their blossoming relationship showed that he was willing to let himself be happy, for once.

They were in that wonderful stage between childhood and adulthood that should always be treasured. They were old enough to do as they pleased, such as drinking what they wanted, and going to bed at whatever time they desired, luxuries that they were never granted at school. However, they were too young to be expected to take their lives too seriously. Their friends had no real work obligations, as they continued to study after school. Though that wasn't the case for Remus and Constance. They both worked tirelessly. Constance managed to keep her job at Flourish and Blotts, Remus often had very bad luck. He tended to take on mostly muggle jobs, to avoid anyone finding out about his illness.

At this time even the simplest of things caused them great joy. While James was always able to provide the best for Lily, the same didn't go for him and Constance. She insisted it didn't matter, and, a few months after moving next door to Sirius, they decided they wanted something more homely. Somewhere they could truly start their lives. Remus searched for somewhere appropriate that would suit them both, and when he took her to their first little cottage, she was overly delighted. Though Remus couldn't tell if she was being genuine, or trying to put on a brave face.

The cottage was tiny. There were two small bedrooms, one for them and one for Remus to use as his mini Hogwarts library. The living room was mostly taken up by the huge fireplace, especially suitable for flooing. The kitchen was little more than a box room, but it did the job, and Constance said she had never seen a more quainter kitchen. The view from the sink was in fact, quite spectacular. They had a stunning view of the Cotswold Hills, so when Constance said she loved, Remus was quite sure she wasn't lying.

When it came to the decor, Constance tried her best. She crocheted little throws to keep the couches looking neat, as they were mostly peeling by this stage. She covered every free inch with pretty cushions, vases with fresh flowers sat on every table. Photos of friends and family members stood along the mantlepiece. It made Remus' heart swell with pride when he saw the amount of effort that Constance always put into their little home.

It was a great cause for excitement among everyone when Lily and James decided to get married. Sirius was most vocal about his appreciation. He was named best man, and rightly so. Remus wouldn't have expected anything else from James. But it began to make Remus a little nervous. If James had decided to marry Lily at age nineteen, perhaps Constance would feel that they should be next. Marriage was just something Remus couldn't commit to. It was a legal bond, which meant Constance couldn't leave when being with a werewolf became too much for her. And realistically, that could happen. He didn't want her to feel stuck, he didn't want her to feel trapped, but, he could tell by the glint in her eye, she _thought_ she wanted it. James and Sirius also began to push the idea of marriage on him.

"It'll be great!" Sirius insisted.

"If it's so great, why don't you do it?" Remus asked, unable to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"I'm different. I'm not built for monogamy. But you and Prongs here, you're the right amount of boring to enjoy it."

Remus couldn't help but roll his eyes. "I also don't see you nagging Peter."

"Trust me," Sirius said matter-of-factly. "If Peter managed to bag himself a girl, I'd encourage marriage within the first week-"

James began to laugh at Sirius' sincerity.

"Stop, that's rude..." Remus reprimanded. Peter always seemed to be the brunt of Sirius' jokes. He laughed along with his friends, but Remus was worried he might be near his breaking point.

"Ah, he's not even here. He's with his mother for the weekend. That woman worries like mad."

Remus wrinkled his nose at Sirius' words. It was a high possibility that Sirius was feeling the effects of an unloving mother since they'd left school. Peter did spend a lot of time with his mother, and Remus understood why. His mother was worried. The wizarding world wasn't exactly the safest place. Sirius was completely alone; all he had was James and Lily. They had quickly become his family, with Sirius spending most of his time at their home. It was understandable, as Sirius and James had always been close. Since the death of James' own parents, they had become closer than ever, and Remus often felt as if he and Peter were left out.

He didn't have much time to dwell on it, however. His life had become far more complicated than it had ever been at Hogwarts. Remus was quite happy to keep to himself and see his friends every other weekend, but Constance insisted that he keep regular contact with his father. Since his mother had died, he had tried to keep his distance, believing his father deserved to have a quiet and peaceful life. Constance didn't see it like that. She tried to persuade him that his father would want to see him despite his lycanthropy.

He took her advice and sought out his father for relaxing walks in the woods and nice cups of tea back at the house in front of the stove. He always picked days that were precisely in the middle of the month, so his father could see him at his best.

"Would you look at you!" This was what his father said every time he saw him approaching. Despite himself, Remus grinned. "I swear every time I see you, you get taller!"

"I think I stopped growing a while ago, Dad."

"Ah, don't talk like that. You sound old." His Dad, Lyall, said as he put an arm over his son's shoulder.

"I feel old," Remus admitted, sounding a bit more honest than he intended.

"Been taking that potion?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, it's amazing! I have no reason to complain, really. The transformations have never been so easy."

"That's good, though, eh? We never thought there'd be a cure," Lyall said, trying to sound a bit more optimistic. He kept his eyes focused on the trees above, watching the little birds weave in and out of the branches. "And ah... How's Constance?"

Remus pursed his lips. "Good. Good."

He hadn't wanted to even mention Constance to his dad, at first. He'd eventually had to, however, as Constance had begun to take it as a sign he wasn't serious. Especially after she had introduced him to her parents. He had to promise her he'd set up dinner with his dad, so they could meet properly. Though he was dreading the idea of arranging anything. Her parents had been so proper. Not rich, but they had a comfortable life. He wanted Constance to see his dad as Remus saw him, but at the back of his mind he kept wondering would the Lupin's be a tad bit too simple for her?

"How's life living with a woman? You'd never be allowed to leave a tea cup sitting around too long, eh?" Lyall said with a small grin.

Remus couldn't help but smile slightly. It was nice, having a normal conversation with his dad. Perhaps one that any father and son could have. It was nice to pretend to be normal. For a while, at least. "Yea... Yea, she keeps the place good..."

"Something on your mind, son?"

"Actually... Lily and James are getting married."

"Wow... Bit soon, no?"

Remus snorted quietly. "Yea. I think they're panicked about the war. Plus James' Mum and Dad died recently, so I think they're worrying about having enough time-"

"They're nineteen!" Lyall chuckled.

"Yea... But, Sirius and James reckon I should ask Constance."

"Ask her what?"

"Ask her to marry me."

Lyall stopped dead. They had come to a pretty little clearing in the trees, where there were some small shrubs with pink flowers. The birds twittered in the silence as Lyall looked up at his son.

"And what do you want to do?"

"I wouldn't mind... It's just... I don't want her to feel tied to me."

Lyall nodded. "Yea... Marriage isn't something you rush into. Everyone's in a mad panic now, but when things settle down, who knows?"

Remus nodded. It was a typical answer for his dad to give. He wanted Remus to be happy, of course, but he also wanted him to remain realistic. He probably believed marriage wasn't the best option for Remus; not now, not ever. It didn't take Remus long to come to the realisation that it would never happen for him. No matter how much Constance would like to be married. James and Sirius eventually gave up on their goal to see Remus married. However, that was more to do with the fact that they had something important to celebrate.

Lily and James' wedding was a quaint affair. While they were always surrounded by people at school, only the closest friends were invited to attend. The people that had become more like family members than friends. Of course, all of the Marauders were in attendance, with Sirius being best man. Lily's close friend Marlene McKinnon also came along. Other guests included Lily's parents, and Sirius' younger sister, Capella. Unfortunately, Lily's sister made a big fuss over coming and refused to tag along in the Evan's car.

Of course, Constance was more than welcome. She could never be as close to Remus' friends as he was. She had missed out on too many vital memories. But, nevertheless, she was welcomed with open arms as the woman who completed their best friend.


	4. 1981

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any related characters**

1981

Things were awkward to say the least. After ten years of friendship, Remus didn't expect this. Sure, he knew things were a bit rocky at the moment; not just for James, but for all of them. He knew there would be a certain amount of suspicion floating around, but in all honesty, he never would have expected such hostility towards him. Remus, missing them, had asked to meet up with James in Diagon Alley one evening. He always tried to make an effort to keep in touch, but their lives were all so busy that that wasn't always possible. He hadn't expected James to bring a hostile looking Sirius with him, but that was how it was these days; James and Sirius were even closer than they had been in school.

They had taken a seat in the corner of the Leaky Cauldron. The place was relatively empty. No one liked to hang around in public these days. There were people drinking throughout the pub, and it was obvious from the look of them that they had no families or loved ones. They were drinking the time away, and not even the threat of Voldemort could stop them. James, Sirius and Remus each had a pint of fire whiskey before them. Sirius' was nearly gone by this stage. He had always been that way though; much quicker.

"So... Err... How's Constance. We haven't seen her since the wedding," James said. Remus had to admire his ability to feign interest, especially when he had Sirius scowling beside him, occasionally letting out a huge, unnecessary sigh. Remus hadn't even realised that it had been nearly two years since his girlfriend had met his friends. He hadn't realised so much time had passed. Though that was hardly an excuse for Sirius' anger. James was always busy, whether it was with Lily, at their home, or completing his last few years of his law studies, and of course he still had to schedule in time for dear Sirius. That boy was helpless without James.

"Oh... Er... She's great. Bit tired, but other than that, she's just excited. I guess we both are," Remus stated flatly. Though, if he thought very hard about it, he wasn't particularly excited. While he loved Constance, he never imagined they would start a family. His condition could be passed on. He knew that, Constance knew that, but for some reason, neither of them saw the dangers until now, until it was too late. Constance was now pregnant. Still, Remus kept his worries to himself, and he was glad he did so. Nothing could upset Constance during her pregnancy.

Sirius hummed a little. Remus wondered if he had wanted to say something supportive as he probably would have done in the past, before thinking better of it. It didn't feel like all that long ago that Sirius was encouraging Remus to propose; now one of his old childhood friends was embarking on a new chapter in his life, fatherhood, and Sirius couldn't even be bothered to say something positive.

"Look..." Remus sighed as he ran a hand through his unkempt hair. "I... I can tell something is going on with you two. You know you can tell me... You know you can trust me with anything. We've been friends for _years_."

Remus' comment was met with silence. Sirius had a look of steely determination on his face. James on the other hand, looked down to the ground. Remus wasn't sure how to describe his expression. Possibly guilt, or perhaps it was just nerves?

"Yea... We know, Moony. But... There's nothing. Just... We're just worried, is all." James finished, he looked up to give Remus a smile, which he returned. It was half-hearted and quite possibly insincere, but Remus didn't push the matter any further. It didn't look as if Sirius would take too kindly to him if he did.

It was confusing to say the least. Remus' friends had always stuck by him. Stuck by him through things that Remus hadn't expected them to, such as finding out that he was a werewolf. They spent the next few years training to become illegal Animagi, all for _him_! It appeared that, beyond the safety of the castle, James and Sirius' tolerance wasn't quite as strong. They became distant from him, Sirius more than James. The sad thing was, Remus understood; he had been waiting for this moment since he first stepped foot in the castle at eleven years old. He knew his friendships could never last; he was amazed that they had lasted as long as they did!

"How's Wormtail doing?"

"He's good... Just trying to keep to himself. His mother doesn't like him leaving the house too much," James explained. James and Sirius didn't seem too fond of discussing Peter. Remus often got the impression that they thought it was poor Peter who was a spy. They seemed to exclude him from everything, and whenever Remus brought him up they seemed to brush it off quickly. It was as if they wanted no attention to be focused on Peter at all.

Remus often sent owls to Peter, and often got them in return. He hadn't grown distant from Remus like the other two had. Peter often came to his little house to eat Sunday dinner. Generally, it was Peter who passed information between him and them. James and Sirius learned of Constance's pregnancy from Peter, and likewise, Remus and Constance had learned of Lily's second pregnancy one Sunday afternoon when Peter popped around.

"So... I suppose I should get back."

"Of course, of course," James said a little too eagerly as he stood up quickly, as if in a hurry to get away from Remus.

"Right, well... I guess I'll owl you," Remus said awkwardly. He wasn't sure if his owl would be very welcome in their house.

Remus always tried his best to remain friends, but the other two appeared to want to make it as difficult as possible for him. Constance tried to remind him that they were no longer in school anymore, that they now had their own families, their own children to take care of. A school friendship could never last through that. Remus couldn't help but point out that it seemed to last very well for Sirius and James. Even Peter was always included, from the sound of his letters.

"Well," Constance began tartly. "If they don't want to make time for you, then why are you so worried?"

"They were my friends... Since I was eleven." He wanted to say his only friends, but he didn't want to appear desperate in front of his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry Remus, but people grow apart. You've got more important things to worry about than your precious _Marauders_ right now."

Remus felt a little bitter about this comment. Constance only felt like that as she had never had friends. She had never been at school. All she ever had ever had was her parents, and now him. It was a sad existence. It probably would have been Remus' existence too if James and Sirius hadn't forced their friendship upon him in first year.

But he knew she was right, and with the birth of their son, all thought of James and Sirius flew from his mind. He looked down at his son's tiny fingers and toes and realised that there were bigger things in life than being accepted. They named their little boy Conor. Remus felt it was only fair to name him after the woman who had brought him into the world. He prayed that, being named after her, he would inherit all of her, and none of him. Especially not his lycanthropy.

During the first week of Conor's life, Remus felt incredibly lonely. Though he didn't want to admit it to Constance. He remembered that Harry's birth had been an exciting affair. Everyone had come to visit Lily and James' house, to meet and coddle the new baby. There had been no visitors for Conor, no grandparents to introduce him to. Conor had been asleep for the last couple of hours, and Constance went with him. She was exhausted and took every opportunity she could to rest. Remus was sitting at their little kitchen table. He had been reading up on the genetics of werewolves in the hopes of finding some answers. His eye caught sight of a rather fancy phoenix feather quill that Lily had bought him as a graduation present. He had never owned such a nice quill before, and was had been delighted when Lily presented it to him. He picked it up in his hand and began to closely inspect it. He was proud to say he had kept it in great condition. He only used it for writing special letters, such as job applications. He believed it might bring him a little luck. It hadn't so far, but he always tried to remain optimistic about it.

With a gentle sigh, he picked up a spare piece of parchment. _This_ could be considered a special letter. Perhaps with any luck, he might get a good response.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _It's been a while since I wrote to you, and I'm sorry. Everything that's happening in England right now, it's been making things difficult for everyone. I hope everything is going well with you and that you're getting enough rest. You'll need it when the baby comes, as I imagine Harry is already a handful._

 _I met with James a couple of months back. He brought Sirius along. It was great to see them both and see that they are doing well. Although we've drifted apart, their safety means so much to me. Their friendship, and yours of course, has given my life so much excitement and happiness, and I'm very grateful for it._

 _Anyway, I wanted to write you a quick letter, to let you know how Constance and I are doing. She had a baby boy last week. We named him Conor, after her. Please keep your fingers crossed that he inherits all her good qualities and none of my bad ones. I have never spoken this aloud before, but the idea of passing on my illness makes me feel sick. I'm not sure how I managed to get myself into this situation._

 _I wish you all the very best of luck, Lily._

 _Love Remus_

Remus read over the letter a few times. It was blunt and to the point. Remus had never been one for talking about his feelings, with anyone. But sometimes he felt as if Lily was able to understand how he felt, even with little words. He had passed off his lycanthropy as a small worry in this letter, but he knew Lily would get the full picture. She would see how it tore him up. She always did, and she always knew what to say. The issue was, had Lily followed the path of her husband and Sirius, and was she now unable to offer the same quality of friendship as she had before? Remus didn't have long to wait, however. The next morning an owl came for him, carrying a letter and a small package. Post rarely came for Remus these days, unless it was from Peter, so he immediately sensed it was from Lily.

 _Dear Remus,_

 _I was delighted to hear from you! I have missed you so much, and think about you everyday. No matter what is happening out there, no matter how little contact we have, you are always my friend. And I treasure all the memories we have. I know you are a great person, inside and out. You have the kindest soul of anyone I know, and I'm positive that will see you through anything._

 _Congratulations on your baby boy. Conor is a beautiful name, and I'm sure he will have the best of both of you! There's so much good that Remus Lupin has to give, and don't forget that! I've also sent you a little parcel. It's nothing amazing, I hope you can forgive me. But I can't get out of the house that much, so shopping wasn't an option. James and Sirius go mental if they see me stepping outside for air, even. Those two are far too protective._

 _Please don't be a stranger. No matter what James and Sirius feel on the issue, you will always be a best friend of mine._

 _Lots of love,_

 _Lily_

Remus scanned over the letter a few times. It was short, but she did exactly what he had expected her to. She addressed all his fears in one short letter, and it made his heart swell. Lily loved him; and she would always love him. He reached for the small package and grinned as he opened it. Two little red baby grows came out. Remus was sure they had been gifts to Harry when he was born. As Lily was unable to get out of the house these days, it only made sense. However, the gesture meant everything to him, especially with Lily having a new baby of her own on the way. Both of the little baby grows were red with Gryffindor written in gold letters across the front. Before, Remus might have found this silly. Forcing a stereotype on his child before he could even walk or talk.

Though when Remus eyed the gold Gryffindor crest, he grinned from ear to ear. His son, his little Gryffindor. Without realising, a single tear slipped down Remus' cheek, and he hastily wiped it away when he felt it.


	5. 1981 (2)

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any related characters**

 _ **A/N: A big thanks to**_ _Emmeebee_ _ **who took the time to correct all my mistakes! Also,**_ _ **Drifting17**_ _ **for taking the time to read this short story.**_ _ **This chapter will answer your question! :)**_

 _ **And as usual, thanks to everyone who is reading.**_

1981

"Remus! Remus, come quick!"

"What is it?" Remus called. He had been lying on his bed staring at a single spot on the ceiling. Dumbledore had sent him to northern England on Order business. He was delighted that Dumbledore never sent him too far away. It would arouse too much suspicion to clear Portkeys with the Ministry, but the man always made it easy for him to return to his family at night. As his old Headmaster sent him on more and more werewolf-related business, he needed to try his best to be there for his son. He wasn't sure how long he would have left with him, not when he spent long hours in the presence of wolves who seemed to be convinced by what You-Know-Who had to offer them.

He rushed into their little living room at the sound of his girlfriend's voice. The room was full to the brim of plush cushions and lacy doilies. Definitely not to Remus' tastes at all! Constance held up a newspaper. His heart sank as he saw the front page. It felt as if something heavy had dropped in his stomach. Lily and James. Why where they on the front cover? They were in _hiding_! Remus had not seen James since that day at the Leaky Cauldron with Sirius, and he hadn't seen Lily since even before that! He had heard from her of course. They sent owls back and forth every so often to exchange any news, the odd gift. They weren't _meant_ to be showing their faces in public. James had outright refused to meet Remus on multiple occasions, without so much as an apology, yet there they were, plastered on the front page of the Prophet.

"They're dead, Remus... Both of them."

Remus opened his mouth. He wanted to say something, or possibly he just wanted to scream. To tell Constance she was mental. He wasn't sure what he _actually_ wanted to do. "How?" he managed to whisper.

"You-Know-Who got to them... And..."

"Sirius..." Remus growled. "Sirius. I _knew_ it. And they thought it was me! _Me_! I _knew_ that was why James wouldn't come to see me. _Sirius_ got into his head!"

"Remus, please," Constance begged.

"No! Sirius _betrayed_ them. He _sold_ them to You-Know-Who! He lied to _all_ of us!" Remus' grip tightened around the wand that in his hand. "And all the while, he was getting inside James' head, telling him it was _me_ not to be trusted. Me!"

"Remus... I know, but _please_... Sit." Constance took her boyfriend gently by the arm and tried to ease him on to the little couch. The cushions were a complete nuisance, but they covered the tattered couch, and that was all Constance wanted. But Remus was annoyed; he was annoyed at Sirius, he was annoyed at himself, and he was annoyed at the stupid couch he couldn't even afford to replace. "I'll get you a calming draught -"

"I don't want one!" Remus spat angrily, not in the least bit embarrassed that he sounded like a toddler having a tantrum.

"Maybe, but you need one," Constance answered a little coolly. She tended to a shaking Remus, who refused to put the phial to his lips. Constance dabbed a wet cloth against his forehead, which he found oddly soothing. "According to the _Prophet_ , You-Know-Who is gone..."

"How?"

"Harry stopped him," she answered shortly. "He's gone."

"How could Harry have stopped him? He's fifteen months old."

Constance shrugged. She had no answer to that. She knew about as much as Remus did. But according to the _Daily Prophet_ , Harry Potter had defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Thoughts rushed through Remus' mind at top speed. He couldn't process any of this information, and suddenly he just became overwhelmed. He pursed his lips and closed his eyes tight in an attempt to stop the tears that had suddenly erupted. His voice broke as he spoke. "Connie... It was Sirius. It was _always_ Sirius, all along. How could he do this? To them? To me... It was Sirius..." He had grabbed her by the front of her robes which bunched up in his fists as he wept. She attempted to put her hands on his, to ease his pain, to at least let him know she was there for him, but he didn't seem to recognise any of it. All he could feel was a horrible constriction of his heart, as if it were about to explode. He really felt as if it would explode.

"Remus... I know, I know... But you need to calm down. Sirius... they'll _catch_ Sirius. He'll be put away soon... Don't worry..."

"It's... It's not that. It's the fact... Sirius was my friend. _Our_ friend. We trusted each other with our lives... I suppose at school... It was all just a joke... Not out here... Not in this world." He clung on to the front of her robes, as if for dear life, as he spluttered out words between heavy, rasping breaths. She tried to breathe louder, to get him in sync, to calm him down.

It worked momentarily, and Remus delved into an eerie silence, rocking back and forth in front of the fire as if he were a patient in an insane asylum. But it did not last long. Just as with the first bit of information, more was soon to follow that would send Remus' mind into further disarray. The next day, he would hear more news of poor unfortunate Peter Pettigrew, and how he was murdered in a street full of muggles.

"They... They're saying Peter went to find Sirius. To confront him," Constance whispered, as Remus sat on the couch, his head in his hands. Constance comfortingly rubbed his back. It was soothing, almost like a mother's touch. Little Conor lay in the Moses basket to her left, where she kept a close eye on him.

"Peter... Poor Peter. He always wanted to be brave... And he really was. Deep down, he had more courage than Sirius ever did. He really was a true Gryffindor... Sirius, on the other hand... You think you know someone..." Remus muttered into his hands. He spoke in a voice barely louder than a whisper. Poor little Peter, always so kind, always so sweet. Remus knew he would never hurt even a fly. He looked up to James and Sirius, and for what? To have devious Sirius Black murder him, as if they had never been friends, best friends, even brothers. The next day, Remus would hear more news of poor unfortunate Peter Pettigrew, and how he was murdered in a street full of muggles. But, in that moment, the news of his death was gut wrenching enough. The crackling of the fire and the little gurgles from their baby son were all that could be heard. Time had stopped in their forlorn little cottage. But outside, people were not resting; people were not sleeping.

Every so often, Remus would jump when someone let off a particularly loud firework.

"Those idiots will have all the Muggles suspicious," Constance said disapprovingly.

"They're happy. They didn't know Lily and James... They didn't know Peter... What do they have to be sad for?"

"Death is a sad thing... Even if it doesn't affect them directly, they should be in mourning," Constance said as evenly as she could. She hated seeing Remus in such a way, so sad, when the rest of the world was so happy. It seemed strange. How could something cause someone so much pain, then cause thousands of others so much joy?

"For them, they just lost You-Know-Who. They didn't lose four friends... Connie... I know... I know you're going to think I'm crazy... But I want to say it anyway." He inhaled deeply as Constance continued to draw circles on his back. "I... I won't ever be happy again... I'll never smile again. I'll never leave this house again -"

"You stop right now, Remus Lupin." She stopped tracing those comforting circles, and Remus instantly regretted what he had said. He wanted her touch. He wanted to be taken care of. This was excruciatingly painful, and he needed her there.

She had bent down low, and began fiddling with the Moses basket. If Remus had been alert, he would have reminded her that you never wake a sleeping baby. However, he was too caught up in mourning to even look at his son.

"Here. You hold him. And remember that this isn't the end of the world." Conor was fussing, irritated from being woken up. Generally, he was a happy baby; during the four short months he had been alive, he rarely cried. Now, however, he seemed fit to scream.

"No... I can't."

"Hold him," Constance insisted.

"No."

"Remus," Constance said sternly. Her voice sliced through him like a knife. It wasn't that he didn't want to hold Conor; he loved his little boy. He often felt pity for little Conor. James and Sirius were so tight knit that Sirius had become part of _his_ children's lives. He bought gifts, treating them as if they were his own flesh and blood. When Conor was born, Lily was the only one who had taken notice. She sent a letter of congratulations and a gift. Small, it may have been, but it reminded Remus of who really loved him. Despite all of the accusations, she had cared, even a little bit... Conor deserved a lot more attention, and with that bitter thought, Remus picked his son out of Constance's grasp.

It instantly seemed to soothe Conor, whose fussing stopped. Constance smiled, as she believed that the contact was calming them both down. Remus hugged his little four month old close. The little heartbeat was steady, and its repetitiveness was relaxing.

"Connie?"

"Hmm?"

"What will happen? To the kids, I mean?"

She shrugged in response. As Sirius had been named Harry's Godfather, it was likely that if anything happened to Lily and James, it was likely that they had intended for Sirius to be in charge should anything happen to them. However, in this current situation, Remus wasn't sure. He was positive that James would never have let his name even grace his will. So it wasn't likely that the couple would ever find out. They weren't blood relatives, or even close friends at this stage, and it was likely that no one would bother to let them know of any developments with the children. It was probably safe to assume, however, that Lily's family were their only remaining living relatives.


	6. 1989

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters**

 _A/N: I've been so busy the last few months but here is the final chapter!_

1989

Remus watched as his eight year old son searched through his potions ingredients. The young boy was always eager to learn something. He reminded Remus an awful lot of himself, even though he felt terrible guilt in doing so. Young Conor would learn of the names of ingredients, what potions they were in, how long the potions took to brew, that was his kind of fun. Remus almost felt sorrow for the boy. He found this enjoyable because he didn't have many friends his own age. While he didn't have many, he did have one. Capella's little girl, Lorena was his best friend. Lorena was slightly older, by a few months, but sometimes Remus felt they were as close as siblings. Nothing excited Conor more than writing his weekly letter to Lorena, taking his time to check over spelling, at eight years old, he really was quite fantastic.

It saddened Remus that he couldn't give Conor a better life than his parents had given him. They tried, of course, and they loved him. However, they couldn't encourage friendships, birthday parties or sleepovers, they tended to encourage him to play alone. Now Remus understood, he understood why they did that. At least, Remus felt that he had done something better. Conor's friendship with Lorena not only pleased him, but it also made Conor more accepting of who he was, and Remus knew that didn't happen to _him_ until he had met Constance.

"Dad, did an owl come for me?"

Conor's voice broke through Remus' train of thought, and he turned to look at his son, who was clearly concerned. "Sorry, no, I didn't get anything... Were you waiting for Lorena's owl?"

"Yea, I always get it in the morning before breakfast. What do you think happened?"

"Maybe their owl got lost." Remus contemplated, but he knew that couldn't be true. While Capella's owl was old, he always managed to make his way to the Lupin's, no matter how many times they changed address.

"Could I floo her?"

"I don't think so, Conor. You know Lorena's Dad isn't fond of us."

"I know... But what if something happened?"

"I'll see what I can do."

But there wasn't really much Remus _could_ do at this stage. He didn't have an owl of his own. He'd have to use a post office owl, and at that, he had no idea how long it would take to get to Capella. Floo wasn't an option, as she was always very aware of her husband in the house. He didn't particularly approve of his wife spending so much time with an old school friend. So many of the times times they met, it was only for a quick lunch or coffee.

They waited for days. Conor was visibly worried, and Remus tried to relax him the best he could, but it was impossible. After all, he was just as upset at what could have happened. Three days later, there was still no sign of Lorena's letter, there was however, news in the _Daily Prophet_.

Since the war, Remus had a habit of checking the obituaries every week. It wasn't that unusual. Everyone did it. If you couldn't get to be with your friends, or family members, it was important to know how they were doing. It was a habit that Remus carried for eight years, since Lily and James died. Since he saw his wife's name grace the back section of the _Prophet_. He always kept an eye out, for anyone else he may have known.

 _Capella Valdés née Black_

It took a while for it to register with Remus. He saw the name, but he didn't understand. This was common during the war, to see a friends name. However, this was eight years later. How could she be dead?

It didn't seem possible. However, there was no one Remus could ask, they had no mutual friends anymore. It was only the two of them. He decided to wait it out, see what would happen. Perhaps it was a mistake, perhaps she was perfectly fine. He kept this his secret for the next couple of months, not wanting to upset Conor unless he was sure. But as the days grew into months, he was soon aware that Capella was gone. They had never gone this long without chatting. Remus' thought frequently drifted towards Lorena, and how she was coping.

About six months after Capella's name appeared in the newspaper, and once Remus had let Conor know of what was going on, they received a letter from Lorena. It was just as long as all her previous letters.

 _Dear Conor and Remus,_

 _I'm very sorry you haven't heard from me these last few months. A lot has happened and I haven't been able to write to you. As you've probably heard, Mum died. It was so sudden and unexpected. I wasn't sure how to write to you, so decided not to. Daddy thought it was best that me and Charlie would be alone. Daddy was especially upset. I saw him crying. But he went right out and bought me a Nimbus 1700. Mum always said I was too young to have a broom of my own, but Daddy said he thought this was the right time. He even had my name written in crystals on the tail. It's fantastic!_

 _But I have even greater news! I have been accepted to Durmstrang. You should write to them and ask if you can go too. Then we can be together again! We'd have so much fun together. Maybe we would have more space so I could really show you how to ride a broom. We'd both make it on the quidditch team and be unbeatable!_

 _I've sent you a box of sugar quills. I know they're your favourite. They should keep you going until I meet you next in Diagon Alley. Daddy said I can go next week to shop for school. Though he's been so busy lately, I'm not sure if he'll have the time. I'll send you an owl again next week, and let you know of all the details!_

 _Love from,_

 _Lorena_

Remus frowned as he scanned over the letter. Conor had handed it to him silently, and though he was not saying anything, he knew that his son thought there was something strange about the letter too. Remus had known Capella for a long time, she was an overly emotional girl, who wore her heart on her sleeve. Lorena was not, obviously, but he would have imagined that the death of her mother would be met with a bit more passion. Admittedly, it had been six months, but the way she spoke of it, no matter if it happened yesterday of five years ago, probably should have evoked something more emotional in the young girl.

Perhaps this was why Conor was so silent. Perhaps the death brought up something all too real for him, his mother's absence.

"We can go, right? See Lorena in Diagon?" He asked, his head still downcast, but drawing his eyes up slightly to look at his father reading the letter.

"Yea... Yea, we can. Just remember, Lorena's Dad seems busy. And he's still grieving-"

"Lorena isn't."

"Well.. You never know what's going on in someone's mind. I think Lorena likes to pretend she's tougher than she is."

Remus always remained positive, despite how many times Lorena had to cancel because of her father's prior commitments. He always tried to remind Conor that they would meet someday soon, and not to worry. Though that was difficult. Lorena, from the age of ten started to attend Durmstrang, and while her letters always remained a weekly occurrence, they would not see each other for years.

Conor's best friend, his only friend became nothing more than a weekly correspondence, and while he treasured her, it broke his spirit. And Remus noticed.


End file.
